“Make dedicated, non-negotiable time for each other a priority, and never stop being curious about your partner. Don’t assume you know who they are today, just because you went to bed with them the night before. In short, never stop asking questions. But ask the right kind of questions.”
― John M. Gottman, Eight Dates:
A Plan for Making Love Last Forever
Transforming Conflict into Connection: Healing Hearts, Building Futures Together
All things – no matter how big or small – can be improved, changed and bettered, with support and guidance. With relationship counseling, you’ll learn how to communicate your feelings and needs, feel understood by your partner and get what you want out of your relationship. Using techniques from John & Julie Gottman, Esther Perel, Terry Real and others, couples will be given the space and tools to improve a relationship that may be floundering or to enhance an already positive relationship, especially for those couples who are planning to marry or have/are expecting a new baby.
It is important to note that improving relationships takes work; I can be your guide but each of you must walk the path – the journey is yours to embark on.
Some issues that bring couples to counseling are:
- Balance (Work/Life/Family)
- Blended Families
- Substance or Behavioral Addiction Recovery
- Chronic Illness
- Conflict/Fighting
- Co-Parenting During/After Divorce
- Emotional & Physical Intimacy
- Parenting
- Pre-Marital/Readiness
Is marital/pre-marital counseling covered by my insurance?
Rarely. Relationship work is not legally billable to insurance since couples therapy is covered by health insurance only under certain medically necessary circumstances. These covered family sessions are used for my current clients, whose diagnosis I am treating individually, for continuity of care. The couples/family work that meets these criteria will therefore focus on the client and gaining education and tools that focus on how their mental health diagnosis affects their relationships.
Medicare, and most insurance companies, define covered situations to be:
- When there is a need to observe and correct, through psychotherapeutic techniques, the client’s interaction with family members
- When there is a need to assess the conflicts or impediments within the family, and assist, through psychotherapy, the family members in the management of the client.
Elective relationship work, including strengthening friendship, general communication, conflict resolution and intimacy does not meet medical necessity criteria. In relationship work, neither partner is the focus; the relationship is the client and therefore the focus of treatment. Each partner is considered to be equal and will be both supported and challenged equally. Couples learn to replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions, to repair past hurts, and to begin to create shared meaning and purpose in their relationship. In addition, I allow up to 75min for these sessions as compared to the 45-50 minute limit set by insurance.
I strongly suggest that couples reach out to their insurance plans and/or benefits administrators to inquire whether “Z Codes” are covered by their plan. The Z Code used for marital/pre-marital therapy is Z63.0 – Problems in Relationship with Spouse or Partner. Do not ask if couples counseling is covered as you may be told that it is – but the plan won’t share that it is only covered in the supportive scenario described above – insist that they look up Z63.0 and determine coverage for that. In many cases, member services will not have this information and you should ask to speak with someone in the claims department.
When couple’s therapy is not the best treatment and individual therapy is indicated:
- History or active risk of abuse or violence between partners (can include emotional, physical or sexual abuse).
- Active or untreated mental illness or addiction with one (or both) partners.
- One or both parties are engaged in infidelity and lack the motivation to give those outside relationships up for the good of the primary relationship.
- One party has undertaken the decision to separate or divorce and the other wants to work on the marriage. In this case, I refer couples to Discernment Counseling.
In my relationship counseling sessions, I help people develop the necessary skills needed to heal and maintain sustaining love. I am an LGBTQ+ affirming therapist and support couples of all orientations.
If any of the above issues relate to your and your partner in your relationship, contact me today for a free consultation. I would love to speak about how I may be able to help you reconnect and rekindle your love for one another, or in the case of divorcing parents, how to co-parent in a respectful, positive way.