“Make dedicated, non-negotiable time for each other a priority, and never stop being curious about your partner. Don’t assume you know who they are today, just because you went to bed with them the night before. In short, never stop asking questions. But ask the right kind of questions.”
― John M. Gottman, Eight Dates:
A Plan for Making Love Last Forever
Transforming Conflict into Connection: Healing Hearts, Building Futures Together
Do you ever feel like you’re speaking different languages in your relationship? Like you’re stuck in a rut, or just not clicking the way you used to? You’re not alone. Most couples hit bumps in the road. The good news is, there’s a roadmap to a stronger, more connected relationship, and it’s called the Gottman Method. I’m trained through Level 3 in these seven evidence-based principles, and I’m here to help you navigate them.
So, what are these magical seven principles, anyway?
1. Build Love Maps: Think of this as creating a detailed map of your partner’s world – their dreams, fears, favorite things, and even their annoying quirks. The better you know each other, the stronger your foundation.
2. Share Fondness and Admiration: Remember why you fell in love? Let’s bring that back! Expressing appreciation and affection, even for the little things, keeps the spark alive.
3. Turn Towards Instead of Away: Life gets busy, but those small moments of connection – a shared smile, a quick hug – are crucial. They’re like deposits in your relationship bank account.
4. The Positive Perspective: Let’s face it, conflicts happen. But approaching them with a positive mindset and assuming good intentions can make all the difference.
5. Manage Conflict: Disagreements are inevitable, but learning to manage them effectively is key. We’ll work on healthy communication and finding solutions that work for both of you.
6. Make Life Dreams Come True: Supporting each other’s dreams, big or small, is essential for a fulfilling relationship. We’ll explore how to make those dreams a reality, together.
7. Create Shared Meaning: What are your shared values, rituals, and goals? Building a sense of shared purpose and meaning creates a deeper, more lasting bond.
Are you ready to build something amazing?
All things – no matter how big or small – can be improved, changed and bettered, with support and guidance. I believe relationship counseling should be an empowering experience that meets you where you are. You will be given the space and tools to improve a relationship that may be floundering, or to enhance an already positive relationship. You will learn how to communicate your feelings and needs, feel understood by your partner and get what you want out of your relationship. We will focus on helping partners communicate effectively; rebuild intimacy, trust and friendship; repair past hurts; and achieve shared goals. I see my role as a guide, providing evidence-based tools and interventions to support you, while recognizing that meaningful progress relies on the commitment and effort of both partners. Additionally, as an LGBTQ+ ally, I create a safe and inclusive environment for all couples.
The path to a stronger relationship requires dedication. I can be your guide, but you each must take the steps. The journey is yours.
My work includes:
- Marital and Premarital Counseling
- Pregnancy, Prenatal, Postpartum and Parenting Challenges
- Domestic partners
- Divorce and co-parenting
Some issues that bring couples to counseling are:
- Balance (Work/Life/Family)
- Blended Families
- Substance or Behavioral Addiction Recovery
- Chronic Illness
- Conflict/Fighting
- Co-Parenting During/After Divorce
- Emotional & Physical Intimacy
- Parenting
- Pre-Marital/Readiness
Is marital/pre-marital counseling covered by my insurance?
No. Medicare, and most insurance companies, define medically necessary, covered situations to be:
- When there is a need to observe and correct, through psychotherapeutic techniques, the client’s interaction with family members
- When there is a need to assess the conflicts or impediments within the family, and assist, through psychotherapy, the family members in the management of the client.
Elective relationship work, including strengthening friendship, general communication, conflict resolution and intimacy does not meet medical necessity criteria. In relationship work, we are not treating a mental health diagnosis, nor is any one partner the focus; the relationship is the client and therefore the focus of treatment. Each partner is considered to be equal and will be both supported and challenged equally. Couples learn to replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions, to repair past hurts, and to begin to create shared meaning and purpose in their relationship. In addition, I allow up to 75min for these sessions as compared to the 45-50 minute limit set by insurance.
When couple’s therapy is not the best treatment and individual therapy is indicated:
- History or active risk of abuse or violence between partners (can include emotional, physical or sexual abuse).
- Active or untreated mental illness or addiction with one (or both) partners.
- One or both parties are engaged in infidelity and lack the motivation to give those outside relationships up for the good of the primary relationship.
- One party has undertaken the decision to separate or divorce and the other wants to work on the marriage. In this case, I refer couples to Discernment Counseling.
In my relationship counseling sessions, I help people develop the necessary skills needed to heal and maintain sustaining love. I would love to speak about how I may be able to help you reconnect and rekindle your love for one another, or in the case of divorcing parents, how to co-parent in a respectful, positive way.
Contact me today for a free consultation; I’m here to guide you every step of the way!